butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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