we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
