that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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