If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
