i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
