well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
