everyone is single if you try hard enough
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
