Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just had sex on a roof
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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