I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
