we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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