she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
