There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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