hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
