it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
