You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Drake has all the answers
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
