Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Can you bring me the toilet please
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
