Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
