you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
