New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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