my mouth tastes like poor choices
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
