me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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