Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize