If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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