I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
