I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
