I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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