You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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