one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
