I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
