Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
