well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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