I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize