It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
