Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
