I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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