who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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