Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize