I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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