how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think my moral compass just broke
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