Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
