there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
