I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
