Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize