I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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