I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
