Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize