I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
