It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
