Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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