sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
bring money and cleavage
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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