I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
