some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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