I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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