i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Houston, we have a squirter
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
