we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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