he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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