You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
