Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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