One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize