Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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