She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize