The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
