are you so shy because you have an std?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
